These are pretty crazy... Sorry about all the ">'s"
You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without
>>>> further ado > here are the 2008 Darwin awards.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Eighth Place
>>>>> In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in
>>>> two feet > of water after squeezing head first through an
>>>> 18-inch-wide sewer grate > to retrieve his car keys.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Seventh Place
>>>>> A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally
>>>> zoned when > he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot
>>>> high cliff on his daily > run.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Sixth Place
>>>>> While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole
>>>> for > protection from the wind and had been sitting in a
>>>> beach chair at the > bottom! When it collapsed, burying him
>>>> beneath 5 feet of sand. People on > ; the beach used their
>>>> hands and shovels trying to get him out but could > not
>>>> reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment
>>>> almost an > hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a
>>>> hospital. >
>>>>>
>>>>> Fifth Place
>>>>> Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the
>>>> ceiling > of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>>>> caused when the long > flashlight he had placed in his mouth
>>>> to keep his hands free rammed into > the base of his skull
>>>> as he hit the floor. >
>>>>>
>>>>> Fourth Place
>>>>> Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet
>>>> with > friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
>>>> with four bullets > into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Third Place
>>>>> After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at
>>>> the > front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms
>>>> intent on robbing > the store. The shop was full of
>>>> customers and a uniformed officer was > standing at the
>>>> counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber >
>>>> announced a hold-up!, and fired a few wild shots from a
>>>> target pistol. > The officer and a clerk promptly returned
>>>> fire, and several customers > also drew their guns and
>>>> fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the > scene by
>>>> Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended >
>>>> cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed
>>>> 23 gunshot > wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7
>>>> different weapons. No one > else was hurt.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> HONORABLE MENTION
>>>>> Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just
>>>> driving > around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of
>>>> dynamite to toss out the > window to see what would happen.
>>>> Apparently they failed to notice the > window was closed.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> RUNNER UP
>>>>> Kerry Bingham had been drinkin g with several friends when
>>>> one of > them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped
>>>> from a local bridge > in the middle of traffic. The
>>>> conversation grew more heated and at least > 10 men trooped
>>>> along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival >
>>>> at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one
>>>> had brought a > bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
>>>> drinking, volunteered and > pointed out that a coil of
>>>> lineman's cable, lay near by. > They secured one end around
>>>> Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the > bridge. His
>>>> fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
>>>>> foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall
>>>> into the icy > water and was rescued by two nearby
>>>> fishermen. Bingham's foot was never > located.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> AND THE WINNER IS...
>>>>> Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn,
>>>>> Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal l
>>>> axative and > more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes
>>>> before the plugged-up > pachyderm finally got relief.
>>>> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, > was attempting
>>>> to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the >
>>>> relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's
>>>> unexpected > defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground
>>>> where he struck his head > on a rock as the elephant
>>>> continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on > top of him. It
>>>> seems to be just one of those freak accidents that >
>>>> proves... 'Crap happens' >
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